“Don’t stop until you’re satisfied. You want an explanation? Ask. You want to be successful? Work. Don’t settle for results you don’t want. Don’t stop until you’re satisfied.”—(The best advice a teacher has ever given me)
“When women scream you wonder what’s wrong with them. When men yell you get afraid about what they’re going to do.”—A girl in my creative writing class said this in response to a story we read about witnessing intimate partner violence and it really fucked with my head because I’ve never, ever, ever, thought of it that way. (via staininyourbrain)
Went out to breakfast with her and we were talking about everything that happened last night at the hotel room and after that. But I told her that I still haven’t forgiven myself for what I did to her. When my 2 coworkers were arguing and trying to calm down my other coworker in the lobby last night, I was pissed off that our night was turning to shit so I stormed off and went walking down the strip in Waikiki by myself. I shut out the entire world, I took off my shirt and threw my phone down, all I wanted to do was find someone to fight so I could release some anger. Then as I got to an intersection, I saw 3 guys across the street obviously drunk and being rowdy, so I immediately wanted to fight them. Right as I was about to cross the street in the middle of traffic, I feel someone wrap their arms around me and try to force me back to our side of the street. Once I was out of eyesight from the 3 guys, that’s when I noticed it was her, with my shirt and my phone in her hand. There was so much adrenaline pumping through me, that all I remember was her trying to get my attention and trying to get my shirt back on before I start acting dumb again. After she got me to sit and calm down, we headed back to the hotel where everybody was at. While we were walking, I was still arguing about what was going on with everybody, then she said “everything is getting messed up, but you left me by myself in front of the hotel and I didn’t know where you were going”. Right when she said that, being 100% honest, my heart fucking sank. That’s when I noticed that we were almost 4 blocks from the hotel. It killed me to think I left her alone in the middle of Waikiki at 1 in the morning, not to mention she chased after me in her heels and got my shirt and phone after I threw them. It hurt me a lot because I was raised better than that. Although I thought she was still in the hotel room with the rest of the girls and not in the lobby with us as all of the guys were arguing, I shouldn’t have walked out before at least letting her know. Even as we were eating at Wailana’s at 2 in the morning, I guess she could tell I knew I fucked up, so she was trying to let me know that it’s alright and it’s understandable that I did what I did. Even then, I was pissed, not at everybody for what happened, but at myself, for leaving her like that. The entire time we were eating in there, I just wanted to get in my car with her and head back to Kane’ohe, I couldn’t even finish my pancakes. The whole drive home, she held my hand as she slept because she was obviously tired from chasing my dumbass, hahaha. Fuck, I still feel like an asshole though. I was there with her, I was supposed to watch out for her and take care of her. The fact that she ran after me for 4 blocks to make sure I didn’t do anything to get myself hurt, made me realize that she actually cared for me and my safety. All in all, last night opened my eyes big time. I realized a lot of things, about a lot of people.
Partied at Dave and Busters and got drunk. Went to a hotel room party and got even more drunk. My coworker tried to steal a bunch of beer from 7-11 and the cops almost arrested him, then when we got him to calm down, he tried to punch me and ran off so the lady working in the lobby of the hotel called the police on him. Then the 5 of us went to Wailani’s and had an awesome dinner/breakfast. On the way home, we got a call saying our coworker got arrested and he’s at the hospital for alcohol poisoning and aggravated assault on a police officer. And to top it all off, I got to take her home and we made out for a nice amount of time before I let her go in so she could get some sleep. Tonight was crazy.